If only you knew how miserable were all were
by jesshooligan
Summary: Sam dies,you see a  side of Derek you've never seen.Nobody has.Its my first FanFic,okay?And its based if Sam never went out with Casey,so that Derek is more devastated about it.R&Rwill make it progress faster.


**Disclaimuhh: Ok, no I dont own anything. You cant sue me, we get it.**

**Hope you enjoy the story, its gonna be pretty long and lots of drama-filled actiony stuff :)**

**Im gonna rate it later on, probley a T, to be safe. Its gonna involve things you didnt know about certant people..**

**and angst and blah blah blah, just read and review. Please and thank you :)**

**suggestions welcome.**

**---**

**DUN DUN DUN!**

It was thursday, 7:02 pm, derek could remember _anythin_g of that certant day. he could remember what everyone was wearing, what everyone ate, what everyone said, or what was going on outside of his bedroom window. why, why did he know this all? because, that thursday, was the day that his life as he knew it,ended.

Derek got home, and ran up to his bedroom, shutting the door completely. Not even saying a 'hello' to anyone in the house, who seemed to notice him. He was expecting a call from Sam, his life -long bestfriend, who was gonna tell him about his great date with the new girl,Jess.

Derek couldnt wait, he was sure Sam would call him, because thats all Sam would talk about for days, and he finally had Derek all excited about it too.

An hour later, Casey walked in. "Derek, gimme the phone, I need to call Emily and tell her something about the project."

Derek didn't say anything, just shook his head, as Casey walked over to his bed."Derek, please, stop being immature, I'll be really quick."

Derek sat up straighter and looked at her."NO, Casey. I'm expecting a call from Sam, its important."

"Oh, I bet it isnt. Is it about Jess?"

Derek gave her a confused look..

"I know about it. Shes in my english class."

"Oh, okay."

"Yea, so could I just use it really quick?"

Derek sighed, and tossed her the phone.

"Thank you.."Casey mumbled, and walked out, leaving his door wide open.

2 minutes passed and Casey marched right in, and gave the phone back to Derek."There ya go. And no, Sam didnt call." She smirked, and walked out.

Derek set the phone next to him and sighed."Ughh"

Where the heck was Sam?

It was already pretty late. Whats taking so long?

Derek opened his eyes, checking to see how long he had slept. It was only 20 minutes, that was good. He quickly checked the caller ID to see if Sam called. Nope, it was clear. What?! Sam, where the heck are you??

Casey passed by, and leaned back by his door."Derek, dinner's ready, if your gonna go down." And with that, she walked off.

Nah, Derek wasnt really hungry, he had slept away his appetite. He just got comfortable and relaxed. Time passed by, and eventually it was morning.

Derek plopped one eye open, and shut it quickly. It was so bright, blegh. He got the pillow and put it over his face. "Ughhh...stupid light." He remvoed the pillow in a minute, and yawned as he sat at the edge of his bed.

He stood up, stretched, and was about to walk out when he quickly remembered..SAM!

Derek reached the phone and checked it, seeing no calls from the Sam Residents [:p

"Ugh, what?" Derek sat back on his bed, and dialed Sam's phone number. It just rang. And it kept ringing.

And kept on ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Derek didnt know how long he had been calling Sam, he just kept redialing and redialing. What was going on? Sam wasnt usually like this. Derek thought sumthin might be wrong.

Nora came to his door, knocked on it, and opened it without letting him respond. "Derek, your late for breakfast. Hurry up and get ready, your gonna be late for school."

School, oh yea, he had forgotten about that. He had been up all night, waiting, not studying, not doing homework, cos he figured he could do it after he talked with Sam. But noo, Sam didn't call him , did he. UGH. Derek was gonna be in a load of crap today, but he didnt care, he followed Nora down into the kitchen and sat down while she served his breakfast. Maybe he could see Sam at school.

(School, 12:00 pm, lunch time) Derek looked around, and didnt see him anywhere. Emily took a seat with Derek and smiled at him."Hey Derek, waiting for Sam?"

"Yea, I think he's been ignoring me, or something."

"Why do you think that?" Emily asked.

"Because, he didnt call me like he was supposed to, and he never answers my calls. And now hes nowhere to be found. Maybe hes mad.."

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"I dont know. I havent done anything..At least I dont think."

"well, maybe, hes sick. call him after school or sumthin."

"yea, ok."

"so..wheres casey?" emily asked, quickly changing the subject.

DEREK's POV

its not like she really cared what I thought anyways, she just wanted to ask for Casey. Pfft, figures. Girls.

"No, I haven't seen her either."

"Okay, thanks, Derek. I'll see you later." And she left.

She walked away, just like that. like seriously, what am I gonna do all day?

Not knowing that that day was the worst day of my life, I hurried home, only to make conversation with the dial tone, AGAIN.

Everyone had gone out for something, cant say what. But Nora had stayed home, she was cleaning up after supper and washing the dishes. I was on the couch, only when i Heard the door bell ring.

Nora called out. "Derek, could you get that?!"

I groaned. Oh, but it is always me who must get the door, right? Im only like 10 feet away from it anyways.

Psh, lazy people around here. I shook my head, and got up, walking over to the door, almost tripping on a small toy robot.

"Ugh.." I opened the door, and to my surpise, I see Sam's mother.

I can't think of what to think, im shocked. Whens the last time she was ever here? Oh, well. That didnt matter. The point is, hee face was just..I dont know how to put this...it was just, blegh. Looked like she had been crying non-stop, the tears stained on the face already. Her eyes, blood shot red and she sounded sick.

"D-D-D-erek." She managed to mumble.

I couldnt think, breath, or say anything. I was blank.

I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach but I was too worried to feel it. I stood there, staring at her.

She looked back at me, right in the eyes too. OUCH. It was horrible."I-I'm sorry..I have some bad news."

Bad news? Oh, no. What is it:/ I hope everythings okay. She was stuttering awfully, and she never ever came over. And now its BAD news? I hope its not what i thought it was.

"D-Derek...S-Sam's d-dead."

Those cold cold words, stinging my brain. What the hell is this woman telling me? Lies? They better be, but then, that wouldn't be cool either. But I couldn't help it. I just couldnt move. This lady, stood in front of me, looked like she was dead herself..telling me that my BEST friend in the whole world, won't be seeing me ever again.

I held my breath, just froze up. Couldnt blink, couldnt think. At the moment, its so hard to explain it. She must've knew how I felt, and kept on going.

"Y-yesterday..S-sam was in a car a-accident with Jess on the w-way b-back from his d-date. " She stopped, then began again, only to see how I was still the same.

"I-I dont know h-how it happened. T-this guy..t-this stupid d-drunk guy, came and hit them. M-my p-poor boy. J-jess was alright, but S-sam j-just...it was too much. He had to let go, Derek. He just did." Her voice, becoming tencer and stronger. Me, going weaker and weaker with everyword. I just wanted to slam the door in her face, and then the other side of my brain was going to tell me to cry.

Be strong, your a guy. Guys dont cry. Especially over other guys, right? WRONG. I dont know the answer to this question myself. Life as I knew it, was changed forever.

"T-the f-funerals on S-saturday. The one on Elm Street. Its at 9 am. W-we were h-hoping you could s-speak for us D-derek. It w-would really m-mean alot to us." Her shaky words, eh, lady I dont think I can function correctly right now to answer you.

"P-Please, Derek? You've grown so close to S-Sam. Who better than to talk than you?" I stared down at the floor, it was a cold day. Another breeze floating in.

And she looked at me, turned my head, and made me face her. "Please."

Whoa, I actually found the guts to do something. I slowly, very slowly, nodded my head. But nothing else. My hair, well..my expression, pretty blank. Like, if I just...um, well, its too hard to explain.

I couldnt believe it. No way, it cant be true.

But reality soon set in. My friend was dead.

Gone, forever. Without even a single goodbye or anything that I could've said. I dont wanna blame this on me either, I had no doing with it. I just..god, why is this happening?

I thought my life was as bad as it already was. :(

Sam's mom thanked me, and began to walk home, leaving me there, straned on an island of confusion and misunderstandings. I shut the door, and just..stood there. That stupid face still with me, wide open mouth. Oh my, god.

Nora peeked her head in the room."Derek, who was that?"

I couldnt say anything. My mouth was out of saliva, just so dried up. But, I needed to be strong, I did. I found the courage and strenght to swallow, and turn to her, trying so hard to stop the tears from coming. But it didnt look so good. I had to make it fast. "S-sam;s mom." I quickly looked away, to the door.

"Well, what did she want?"

..What to do, what to do. I'm not gonna lie about this. But if I said it, boy, I'd be a wreck right now.

"Nothing." I just said that. Nothing, and ran up to my room as quick as possible, hoping she wouldnt follow me.


End file.
